Trusting Scared (by Becky)

OK… so I’m blogging from a unique place. The hospital. I came to the ER with some pretty severe pain when breathing, and was diagnosed with pulmonary embolisms, or blood clots in my lungs. Pretty scary. Good news is, docs found it quickly and I’ll be in here all week while they treat to make sure they get this under control. For right now it hurts. Bad. So if what I type doesn’t make sense, it’s because it’s tinged with lovely pain meds.

I’m frightened, or maybe that’s not the word. I know no matter what happens, I’m going to be ok. I know what will happen after my last breath. But the idea of leaving my babies, my husband, my family, my church, my life…. I’m just not done living yet!! Don’t suppose I ever will be!

Here’s the verse that came to mind when I was in ER. The doc came in and told us that unfortunately, he was correct and I did have clots. He gave some more instructions and left the room. Into my head came a verse I memorized as a child. “What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee.” Ps. 56:3. So here I am, scared but trusting.

When my kids were still rocking chair age, I used to sing them an old hymn.

Simply trusting every day
Trusting through the stormy way
Even when my faith is small
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Trusting as the moments fly
Trusting as the days go by
Trusting Him what e’er befall
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

(Sorry, but I don’t know the author or origin of the hymn. It just was planted in the recesses of my brain as a kid. Not sure who or where…)

Don’t know what else there is to do. I spend a lot of time running around, planning, working, striving, achieving. Now, in this moment, Trusting Jesus is all that’s left. So it’s all I’ll do.

Daily bliss: A good view from my hospital room!! OH! And wireless internet in the hospital! Who knew??