I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I've disappeared. I've fallen into the black hole of working, breastfeeding, rocking, diapering, parenting, and running around trying to accomplish it all. You're thinking I'm a casualty of life and its stressors.
But I'm STILL HERE! Somewhere underneath the woman you can see who is trying to pay the bills, keep the house, love the husband, teach the kids, feed the baby, and make it from one day to the next... Somewhere behind my bleary, sleep deprived eyes and underneath my way overdue for a haircut hair... Somewhere underneath the clothes that aren't quite the size I wore before I got pregnant... Somewhere buried under the to-do lists...
I'm still here. I still think deeply and dream big. I still love passionately and live creatively. I still have a mind that wants to learn and a heart that wants to save the world.
It might seem like I've gone away but I'm still here somewhere. So don't forget me because when you least expect it, I'll be back. Back and better than ever. I'll have a stroke of brilliance in one of those quiet moments I spend hooked up to a breast pump. Or I'll write a beautiful piece one evening after the family is sleeping peacefully. Or I'll invent an idea one day sitting at my desk or standing at the sink. And all those seemingly meaningless tasks, those moments of the mundane that everyone thinks are wasted, those late night crying jags, those angry moments, those breathless times wondering if it'll all work out, those questions that make everyone uncomfortable except for God... those won't be wasted. They'll be part of me becoming something more than I thought I could be.
I'm still here. So don't count me out just yet.... ok?