Friday, December 21, 2007

A Light Has Dawned

Isaiah 9:2 The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death [a]
a light has dawned.

3 You have enlarged the nation
and increased their joy;
they rejoice before you
as people rejoice at the harvest,
as men rejoice
when dividing the plunder.

4 For as in the day of Midian's defeat,
you have shattered
the yoke that burdens them,
the bar across their shoulders,
the rod of their oppressor.

5 Every warrior's boot used in battle
and every garment rolled in blood
will be destined for burning,
will be fuel for the fire.

6 For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, [b] Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

7 Of the increase of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David's throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty
will accomplish this.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! The Dawn from On High is here! The yokes of bondage are shattered, the bloody battle clothes can be thrown away. FOR UNTO US A CHILD IS BORN!! He is the Hope of All Ages, the Captive's Deliverer, and the Great Healer. He is indeed my Wonderful Counselor, my Mighty God, my Everlasting Father, and my Beloved Prince of Peace.

I've lamented over the last few days that such grief came into my life at Christmastime. No more. In the midst of this grief, I will celebrate the fact that the One who will overcome my every hurt was born for me. The Light that shines in my dark times has come. His birth set in motion the ultimate victory for us all.

Peace and joy to you and yours this Christmas! I'll "see" you when the celebration is over.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

There's this thing...

There's this thing about blogging... It's just so... well, public. I've debated with myself about how much information to put on this blog about what I am currently experiencing. Part of me argues that my pain is not for public scrutiny. The other part maintains that pain is a part of life, and Woman on the Edge isn't about to back away from life, even the pain. I'm still not sure which part won. (That's the thing about debates... you're never really sure of the winner.)

But for now, I'll say this: I am experiencing and grieving a great loss in my life. For the protection of everyone involved, the specifics of that loss will most likely not be discussed on this blog. What WILL be discussed is the part that matters: Woman on the Edge is indeed on the edge, and GOD IS TAKING CARE OF HER. Wonderful, amazing, vivid, incredible life on the edge with God is worth it. Even in times of pain. I'm starting to realize another dimension of God's massive love, and I invite you to explore it with me.

My counselor sent me an email saying, “God’s arms are around you. He loves you.” I replied to her, “I know He loves me… I’m starting to think I’m His favorite!”

It’s true. God is overwhelming me with love and comfort through Riverside Church, through His provision, through His presence. Today I stood in my kitchen making Christmas cookies. I just stood there doing a normal activity as if my heart wasn’t broken in a million pieces. I stood in a contented peace that I simply can’t explain. It’s that peace that passes all understanding. How can God be so good to me?

I don’t understand where the ability to get up in the morning comes from, but its there. I don’t understand where the ability to make the hardest decisions of my life is coming from but its there. I only understand that I’m God’s girl. I’ve put my little hand in His great big one, and we walk on.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4)

Thank God for His peace standing guard over my injured heart. He will hover over yours, too, in your times of pain. My Prince of Peace rules and reigns in peace, and will give it in generous amounts to those who trust in Him. If you don't believe it, keep reading. I'll be doing my best to let you see it happen in me.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Favorite Things Continued

OK, so I still need it, so here are some more:

My ALABAMA CD collection
Josh Turner's voice
Dark chocolate
Friends who let me cry
Paula Deen's Home Cooking on Food Network
My ear piercings. I'm actually considering another one.
Christmas movies
Christmas cookies
The way God takes care of me
Absolute Truth
Did I say dark chocolate?
Christy's tattoo
Sweet tea
Psalm 71
Willie Nelson singing "Pretty Paper"

OH! And the white dress with the blue satin sash thing... especially on my little girl.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Raindrops on Roses

In the spirit of Christmas, as Julie Andrews' voice rings in my head "When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeeeeeeeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feeeeeeeeel SOOOOooooo Baaaaaad!"

Here are some of my favorite things right now:

A FABULOUS girl named Mackenzie
An AMAZING boy named Levi
Riverside Church
Movies with a friend
Friends who love me so much they cry when I hurt
Peanut butter fudge
My worn out copy of Streams in the Desert
My worn out NIV
A good manicure
My tattoo
Starbucks Dark Chocolate Peppermint Frappucino
Oranges from my Daddy's grove
Orange juice from those oranges
My girl in ballet shoes
Drivin' my Daddy's truck! It smells like him, and is all marked up by him inside. The arm rest has an indention where his arm fits. Driving it makes me remember who I am... who I'm proud to be.
Christmas red nail polish (only in December)
Long, hot showers
Good fiction novels
Phone calls from my sister
My little girl's laugh
Apple Cinnamon Febreze
My boy on his bike goin' full speed ahead
Did I say peanut butter fudge?
Friendships. Deep, meaningful ones.

OH! And I'm with Julie on the brown paper packages tied up with strings, too. Bright copper kettles aren't so bad either.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


It's been a hard day. You know when something terrible happens, and the shock starts to wear off, and the pain sets in? That's the day I've had. Never without hope, and never alone, but today I hurt.

God Himself

I'm at a point in my life when the "rubber meets the road" as far as my faith goes. I am going through something I completely do not understand. It is at this point that I must make a decision. I must choose to trust God and rest, or I can choose to struggle and fight and worry and wear myself out. This kind of heart shattering pain has a way of exposing the depths of a person's soul. And as I peer into the depths of mine, past all the confusion and hurt and rejection and grief, I still have One thing: my God.

Friends, don't think of this as bravado. Oh, I'm hurting alright. I'm angry and confused and broken and sad. All that stuff is there; I am human after all. But here is where I must either believe and embrace Jesus, or I must abandon Him. If He is enough, then He is enough. If He is not enough, then I'm wasting my time.

This morning, I read the words of Paul in Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me." THAT's why I grieve as one who has hope. THAT's why I'm still standing. Because I have been crucified with Christ. HIS life exchanged for mine. So the life I'm now living, HE is living for me. And so the One who was despised and rejected, a Man of Sorrows, well acquainted with grief, is handling my grief for me. It's nothing new to Him, and it's nothing He can't overcome in me.

Man, it's great to have something Unshakeable right now. Christ following is more than the right decision. It's more than even redemption and grace. It's a sold out, total life commitment that is irreversible, costly, and SO WORTH IT. I'm not a half-way kind of girl, but I certainly couldn't have Jesus half way. Right now, I may be walking through the valley of the shadow of death with Him, but that's where He's taking me. And if I'm going with Him, then I'm going everywhere, not just the pretty places. I can't describe to you how good it feels to have Him, my One Never-Changing, No Matter What, Sure Thing.

This poem in today's Streams in the Desert is perfect:

My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace,
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God;
It's His to lead me there, not mine, but His-
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road!

So faith bounds forward to its goal in God,
And love can trust her Lord to lead her there;
Upheld by Him, my soul is following hard
Til the Lord has fulfilled my deepest prayer.

No matter if the way is sometimes dark,
No matter though the cost is often great,
He knows the way for me to reach the mark,
The road the leads to Him is sure and straight.

One thing is sure, I cannot tell Him no
One thing I do, I press towards my Lord;
Giving God my glory here, as I go,
Knowing in heaven waits my Great Reward

Friday, December 07, 2007

All Things

Yep, that's me. And yes, it's real!!! Underneath the butterfly is the scripture reference 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things are passed away. Behold, all things are made new."

ALL THINGS are made new. It's a truth I've built my foundation on, and one I'm trusting with my very life at this moment. ALL things. God did that for me. That's why I need Him so much.

PLUS, I even had one heck of a friend to go on this adventure with. Check out her rendition here.