There's this thing about blogging... It's just so... well, public. I've debated with myself about how much information to put on this blog about what I am currently experiencing. Part of me argues that my pain is not for public scrutiny. The other part maintains that pain is a part of life, and Woman on the Edge isn't about to back away from life, even the pain. I'm still not sure which part won. (That's the thing about debates... you're never really sure of the winner.)
But for now, I'll say this: I am experiencing and grieving a great loss in my life. For the protection of everyone involved, the specifics of that loss will most likely not be discussed on this blog. What WILL be discussed is the part that matters: Woman on the Edge is indeed on the edge, and GOD IS TAKING CARE OF HER. Wonderful, amazing, vivid, incredible life on the edge with God is worth it. Even in times of pain. I'm starting to realize another dimension of God's massive love, and I invite you to explore it with me.
My counselor sent me an email saying, “God’s arms are around you. He loves you.” I replied to her, “I know He loves me… I’m starting to think I’m His favorite!”
It’s true. God is overwhelming me with love and comfort through Riverside Church, through His provision, through His presence. Today I stood in my kitchen making Christmas cookies. I just stood there doing a normal activity as if my heart wasn’t broken in a million pieces. I stood in a contented peace that I simply can’t explain. It’s that peace that passes all understanding. How can God be so good to me?
I don’t understand where the ability to get up in the morning comes from, but its there. I don’t understand where the ability to make the hardest decisions of my life is coming from but its there. I only understand that I’m God’s girl. I’ve put my little hand in His great big one, and we walk on.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4)
Thank God for His peace standing guard over my injured heart. He will hover over yours, too, in your times of pain. My Prince of Peace rules and reigns in peace, and will give it in generous amounts to those who trust in Him. If you don't believe it, keep reading. I'll be doing my best to let you see it happen in me.
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5 comments:
Praise the Lord. That is the victory He intends for us. Thank you!
I'm learning that God's love reaches us in the places where we least expect to find it, and He reveals it to us in ways we never think to look for it. As always, you are in my prayers. Much love to you, my friend.
Hey Becky,
I just wanted to say that I'm excited to see the intensity of God shining through you, especially in this blog. Jessica and I are praying for you.
That grace - it's like a bubble that surrounds you wherever you go, isn't it? I've experienced that before.
I love you. You are the bravest woman I know!
Not sure what you're going through but I pray you will find the strength from our Lord to get through it.
You are so inspiring, especially on this blog. If I lived closer to you I feel like I could sit and listen to you wittness all the time.
Don't give up, I know God has great plans for you. You made a difference in my life and that was the first time I heard you speak.
I hope all will heal, email me if you need someone to listen. I'm here for you and praying for you.
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