Hmmmm....

Well, whatever train of thought I was on last night derailed before I could get to the point of what I was going to say, so I will let yesterday's post stand as-is!
I have been pondering, lately, the sense of emotional weariness that plagues me now and again. I had concluded some time ago that I was one of the few women I knew who battled constantly to keep her heart intact. Eventually, I started to wonder what was wrong with me that I never could bring myself to lop off big parts of my self in order to just get through the time at hand. Everywhere we go, everything we do - from the time we are small - threatens to shred little bits of our hearts as women. I have seen this so often. Women shut down their dreams, kill little bits of themselves, just to deal with the hurts and disappointments that life brings.
So, I ran across a scripture that really encouraged me yesterday. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Then I thought about how I have always interpreted that verse. It seems that I have always thought it meant to lock away my heart - to keep it somewhere safe so that no one ever hurt it. But that conflicts with my need to have an impact on the world around me. I don't think anything is completely true and effective unless it comes from the heart. But nothing can come from the heart if it's shut away from the world.
But it doesn't say "lock your heart away." I got this picture of myself standing around a fortress - in some kind of medieval battle armor! Ha! Not very feminine, I guess. But I think that's more along the lines of what the scripture teaches. My heart must be what it is. It can't function unless it's open to the air. It has doors and the walls have tops - that is to say, there are points of entry and exit into my heart. But I must guard it. I have to discern whether something that approaches is safe to let in. And sometimes, I can't know, but I have to be ready to fight. I have to watch what comes out, too. Make sure that what I unleash on the rest of the world is beneficial.
Why? Because it's the wellspring of life! Isn't that the ultimate definition of the feminine? Isn't that one of the most beautiful ways that women reflect their Creator? We bring life into this world. I don't just mean babies, either. I mean Life, Beauty, Good Things. But only if we have a well-trained guard standing at the post.
DAILY BLISS:
An hour all by myself in the craft store! Wheee!

<3 Christy