Sigh

It's time for next year's school registration again. I got my letter in the mail from the kids' school today, and it laid out next year's financial junk. It's pretty depressing. I could buy a Kia for what this is going to cost. Or isn't going to cost. Tuition has gone up again (not excessively, but enough). I'm not sure if we can swing it. I have been really committed to this school - it's so wonderful. There are so many opportunities for the kids to be involved in various extra-curricular things, and the academics are really strong....I digress.
In a seemingly unrelated instance (but give me a minute), my mom asked me the other day how I was "feeling" about work. I told her, much to my surprise that I wasn't "feeling" much of anything, which is pretty impressive for such an accomplished feeler. It dawned on me that I had shut my feeler off in this instance. That's a frightening ability to have, I think. I like things that are organic and spontaneous - things that just happen. Feelings are also supposed to just happen in my ideal world (people in school used to ask me what color the sky was in my world - it's that different from the real one!). So, to be able to shut off feelings - well, I just don't want to get TOO good at it.
Here's where the heaving sigh comes in - do you mean that I have shut off my feelings about working, and now my kids might not even be able to go to the school I am working for them to attend? Sigh. I have to work regardless of what school they go to, but that is a detail with which I will not be concerned right now (yes, I know....but this is not a logical post - this is an emotional one!).
Anyway, maybe I didn't do such a great job of shutting off my feeler. There is a gutteral scream about to burst out of me....excuse me while I go close the windows. I do not want the neighbor's chickens to be alarmed and start making disapproving noises at me.

DAILY BLISS: The smell of coffee as my husband gets it ready for tomorrow morning, while the wind is hitting my face through my open window. Right now.

<3 Christy