A Little Rusty

I tried to play the piano today. Let's just say it's nothing like riding a bike. You can really forget how to do it.
I used to be really good. In my freshman year of college, I did Chopin's Revolutionary Etude for my recital. That's a really hard one. It created a buzz. But, I knew I'd never be the best - creating a buzz at the crappy local college doesn't even put you in the League of Mediocres anywhere else - and didn't want to spend my young adulthood striving for it...blah, blah, blah....
Suffice it to say that I quit. I've played the piano since then, though. I've been a worship leader for several years in various churches. But worship music is soooo different from classical music. I don't mean to be condescending, but it's a lot easier. Your fingers don't have to do nearly as much work. A couple of years ago, I got really brave and started taking lessons again from the top professor in town. He's amazing! He said that I had an incredible, raw talent. That felt great! But, I have kids and didn't want to waste my mothering years trying to master the piano....blah, blah, blah....
Every few months or six I pull out my books and give it a go. It's always disappointing. Today, however, was devastating. I really couldn't even pull off one of Bach's two-part inventions, which I pretty much mastered in junior high. I tried really hard, but my left hand felt especially heavy. I still know enough to be a good critic, and I detected all sorts of unevenness in finger pressure that never had been there before.
The perfection demanded by Baroque music was just too much. I turned instead to Beethoven. Using the pedal as a crutch and slowing down some parts (which sounds a lot like being expressive) can get you through and make it sound decent if nobody knows any better. But I know better. It sounded nicer than the Bach and made my little girl dance, but it wouldn't even have qualified me to have a conversation with real musicians.
I have always told myself that I'd try again once my kids were grown. Maybe I'll invest the time and money to seriously study it again when I have the time and money to invest. The last year or so has brought some real doubt about whether that plan will ever work. Oh well.
It's not that some life-long dream has been crushed or anything like that. I've discovered as I've grown that it seems music was a skill I had learned, and maybe not so much a natural talent. It doesn't change life as I know it to realize this. Maybe that's why I always had the sense that I'd fall into the mediocre category if I'd pursued music as a career.
But still, it'd be nice to whip out a fugue now and again - just to impress the neighbors. That's why I sat down at the piano today. Remember how I said I was trying to master a few good habits again? I need the discpline. But, a fugue can't just be "whipped out."
I'm tempted here to make an analogy about spiritual discipline. I thought about that while I was muddling through one of those two-part inventions, but I don't want to come across as cheesy. I just think that walking with Christ also requires discipline. You can't just "whip out" an authentic relationship.

DAILY BLISS: Making heart-shaped biscuits for church breakfast this morning. Served 'em up with fresh, Plant City strawberries! Yummy!

<3 Christy