Funny how life plays tricks on ya sometimes. I'm writing a funny, satirical book about being a minister's wife. Only right now, there isn't anything funny about being a minister's wife. From where I am now, I'm trying to remember if there ever was. Ah well, talk to me another day and maybe I'll remember. Or maybe my current cynicism will lend itself to some witty sarcasm in my writing. For now, I'm just sad. Sad that the secular business world has provided more acceptance, grace, and support than the church for me and my family. Sad that I found more true friends in the insurance business.
Not that I regret those friends. Not at all. After all, they never cared how clean my house or desk was. They never cared how my kids behaved or if I got all the notes right. And... wonder of wonders, they knew how to congratulate hard work and that positive reinforcement goes way further than criticism. I suppose the truth is, that I'm blessed to have experienced relationships with people I can wholeheartedly trust at all. And I'm grateful. I just found those authentic relationships in a different place than I had hoped. The insurance business of all places. I miss you tonight, Smith and Thomas Insurance!!!
That's what the edge is all about. Being real. Guess I'm just ranting that it's so darn difficult to be real, most of all with those who are supposed to care for you. But maybe I've expected too much. Matter of fact, I'm sure I have. And down goes disappointment's bitter pill as I realize that my rose colored glasses are shattered, and the people around me are as flawed as I.
So why should pain surprise me? It really shouldn't. Truthfully, I've been hurt several times before, and I've hurt other people. Everyone can say the same, with one hundred percent agreement. So the odds that even the best of us will eventually cause pain are inevitable. It's not if, it's when. It's high time I accept pain from other people as an inevitable part of living. Especially of living on the edge, where I love without holding back, where I embrace passion with all my might, where I steel myself for whatever may come my way and fight my battles with the heart of a warrior.
And in the spirit of raw honesty, I open my heart this night. I expose my weakness and pain. To God, and to you, reader. How can I be a woman on the edge if I didn't? This night, living on the edge as a follower of Jesus finds me on my knees with my heart in pieces. Nope. Being a Christian ain't all roses, honey. Being a Christian simply gives me a relationship of love with the One who already bore the thorns. Thank God.
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This blog is the wild, crazy, sometimes painfully honest journey of a woman who lives on the edge and loves it there!
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About Me
- Rebecca Jeffries-Hyman
- Woman on the Edge is about living life and taking every opportunity God gives. It's about refusing to stay in the shadows, running right past fear and getting out on the edge.
4 comments:
I wish I could wrap my arms around you right now. I wish we could all just accept the fact that we're each human and open ourselves to frailty. I've found that I enjoy being around people who know they are imperfect more than those who try to make me think they aren't. :)
I would wrap my arms around you right back, my friend. Your words are a comfort to me.
Dearest Heart-Friend, you are so brave! The first time I took the kind of lumps that you are taking, I jumped ship! That you have stayed open and allowed pain into your life this many times is a testament to your strength. If I could tape together the pieces of your heart, I would. I am praying that your sense of optimism and hope would be restored, but not before a little biting sarcasm makes its way into your writing!! WTA <3
It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. (Ephesians 4:11-16)
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