Bittersweet

I started a new job today. This job is a blessing. The pay is good, the hours are perfect, the environment is friendly, and it's not a hard job. This job is a blessing. It really is. Are you convinced yet? I'm trying to be.

See, this job for me is one more unwelcome change in a few weeks that have been full of unwelcome changes. It represents a new reality that I must live with. Single moms have to work. They have to do more than my fledgling speaking and writing income is able to provide. I guess today, my first day at work, made me feel more officially alone. It was one more step out of shock and into reality.

It's not that God has even asked me to set Woman on the Edge aside. I'll still be keeping my speaking engagements, and writing, and accepting more as they are provided. God has provided a job that allows that. It also allows me to keep my children as close as possible to their normal daily schedule. It was one more gift of love from my Father whose provision has sustained me thus far and will continue to sustain me.

So today was bittersweet. Sweet in the peace that God is taking good care of me and my children, and sorrowfully bitter in that I desperately wish not to be in need of this provision... and today is tangible proof that I am in need of it whether I want to be or not.

I am grateful. For a God who will never reject me. Great is His faithfulness. For a job that I can do while I still keep my heart's passion alive. For two amazing kids. For freezing weather... in New Orleans of all places. And for the hilarious writing that I'm certain will come out of this church girl's first encounter in a long time with the day to day business world. I'm on an unplanned adventure, but an adventure, no less.

(Deep breath.) A blessing indeed.