In the next world we may more perfectly
Love Him and serve Him, praise Him,
Grow nearer and nearer to Him with delight.
But then we will not anymore
Be called to suffer, which is our assignment here.
Can you not suffer, then, one hour or two?
If He should call you from your cross today,
Saying, "It is finished--that hard cross of yours
From which you pray for deliverance,"
Do you not think that some emotion of regret
Would overcome you? You would say,
"So soon? Let me go back and suffer yet awhile
More patiently. I have not yet praised God."
....let us take heed in life
That God may NOW be glorified in us. (Ugo Bassi's Sermon in a Hospital)
Today marks the two year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. This morning as I reflected with some area pastors on this day and what it means to us, my heart virtually screamed the above quoted poem. See, lately I've been doing quite a bit of asking for deliverance. Since Katrina's upheaval, my life has seemed like one upheaval after another. I'm tired. So is everyone around me.
Last night, my hair guy and I were talking about my book. He asked me "Do you listen to what you write?" Jimmy wanted to know if I practice what I preach, or if I take my own advice. So I asked the question of myself. I told Jimmy how I feel that everything that has happened since Katrina has worked together as a "test" of sorts for me. How can I write a book with a theme of hope and perseverance... and then NOT trust God to give me the strength to persevere myself? I don't want to be someone who preaches one thing, only to get in my car, drive away, and do another. So yes, I practice what I preach.
But in some ways, I have not yet praised God. To me, persevering through trial is one thing, but lifting praise to God in and FOR a trial is another thing entirely. In my mind, to look suffering in the face and THANK GOD for it is to have triumphed over that suffering. And so, if you'll allow me...
THANK YOU GOD, for Hurricane Katrina. Thank You for the uncertainty, the loss, the sadness. Thank You for forcing me to rely on You for hope. I praise You, God, for the turmoil it caused. I praise You for making me uncomfortable enough to seek comfort in You. ThankYou for personally being my comfort in all of this. While I'm at it, Lord, I would like to praise You for the embolisms I had. Thanks for the pain and the frightening diagnosis. Thanks for showing me that death is nothing to You, therefore it is nothing to me. Thank you for sending my husband to the hospital. Thank you for being there when I thought I might lose him. Thank You for the people whose hands you used to help hold me up that night. I praise You, God, for the exhaustion, the depression, and the discouragement that the last months have held for me and Matthew. I praise You for being Reason enough to go on even when we didn't feel like it. The bottom line, Jesus, is that You have and do use suffering to connect with me and to help me connect with You... and connection with You makes life worth living, so I praise You for it ALL. You, my Jesus, are worth every mile, every tear, every shaky, exhausted step. Lord, don't let me waste time. I'm not waiting till you call and end to suffering before I praise You. So, please, be glorified in THIS life, with all its imperfections and in the midst of all its sufferings. Amen
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6 comments:
Beautiful. I have been thinking of you on this anniversary, my friend. My heart is with you, and my thanks go to Him that you were allowed to remain and suffer as well. The last two years of my life would have been so much emptier without you here. And really, would we have found each other like this if had not been for such tragedy? Do you remember sitting downtown in that restaurant and just boo-hooing together quite in public? It's a small thing, I know, the renewal of a friendship in the face of such great tragedy....but to me, it's been life-saving.
amen
Amen and Me Too. I praise God for you my love. I am so blessed to have you as my wife. I love you with evrything I have.
Your man, Matthew.
Christy, YES I remember that day in the restaurant! Twas the beginning, no the continuance of a vital relationship to me. Yet another reason to be grateful for all of this!! I LOVE YOU!
OH! and Matthew, we are about to learn to navigate storms in this ship of ours, aren't we? Thanks for co-captaining with me!
Psalm 119:71 "It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes." Sometimes I don't like that this is true, but it's true none the less. I don't like learning or growing through hardships, I'd rather just be wise and understanding by accepting what I read and hear and see. However, I know I would miss out on a lot of intimacy with the Holy Spirit if I didn't walk through a few fires, and struggle through a few floods now and then. Why some of these need to be so literal I don't know. I too thank God for what He has walked with you through.
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