Countdown

The end of pregnancy can be like the longest, most torturous countdown there is. It's the wierdest mix of giddy anticipation and adrenaline-pumping, nerves-on-end vigilance that there is. Just for fun, and to let off some steam, here's what the countdown looks like at our house:

10: Find a spot on your belly with no bruise to administer your blood thinner shot. "Honey? Can you look under there and tell me where there's no bruise?"

9: Try to get a couple of consecutive hours of sleep. No dice. Run yourself a warm bath at 2am out of pain and sheer boredom. One can only watch Teen Mom on MTV in the middle of the night so many times. Make involuntary popping noises and cries of pain when attempting to roll over in bed. Husband wakes up. "Baby, you ok?"

8: Cry hysterically for a reason. Cry hysterically again for no reason at all. Husband wakes up again. "Baby, you ok?"

7: Notice how everyone who sees you immediately looks down at the middle section of your body which currently doesn't appear to be physically possible. Either they're looking at that or I'm WAY sexier than I thought I was. Husband looks too. "Baby, you are beautiful!"

6: Be INSANELY protective and emotional over your existing beautiful children. Tear up when your seven year old boy throws his arms around your huge belly, and giggle with your twelve year old girl when she feels the baby kick. Watch their gorgeous heads of hair disappear around the corner as they walk into school with their friends. Grab the tissues and have your very own Hallmark commercial right there.

5: Go over every possible going-into-labor scenario with your husband until you both are delirious or delusional with anticipation. While doing so, realize that what will actually happen is COMPLETELY unknown and out of your control. Continue delusions and delirium. Finally try to decide to be happy and enjoy WHATEVER happens.

4: Wash, fold, and put away all your baby stuff. Then REALLY hope the determination is accurate and it really is a boy. Sit in your rocking chair and stare at all the baby stuff. Sit pretty much anywhere and stare.

3: Miss your mother like you never knew was possible. Cry some more to your very patient and understanding husband. "Baby, it's ok."

2: Feel nauseated and want nothing to eat at all. Then eat everything you can get your hands on.

1: Feel and watch baby Caleb moving around in there and think how much you will miss this miracle after he's born. Sit back, relax and wait for it...

BLASTOFF!!