Alright, so I've come to a conclusion. I am experiencing emotional gridlock. A traffic jam of cosmic proportions. Not only have the past few weeks been ridiculously busy, they've been full of one major emotional event after another. At this point my heart looks like one of those traffic problems you hear about on the radio traffic report when they advise you to "just take another route."
So I'm pretty sure it'll take a few weeks to process it all. But, a girl's gotta start somewhere. So here are a few things I'm learning:
-My five year old son is a great wedding date.
-My ten year old daughter is one of the wisest people I know.
-Single parents should get extra vacation time, extra sick days, and designated parking spaces. I'm very sure I had no idea what a single parent goes through until now that I AM one.
-Right now I hurt. I wish it would stop. However, as a very smart friend reminds me, "microwave food isn't that good." This pain won't be wasted, and it won't be forever, and it will make me into more than microwave food.
-Sometimes grief sneaks up on you. Sometimes when you are at someone's wedding you want to scream and cry out your pain. And sometimes you tell the grief to come back later. You tell it "Not today. Today I will celebrate with people I love." And then you let your tears just be happy ones.
-I must learn how to let go of perfection. It doesn't exist. In the words of my ten year old daughter, "You're still a good mom. You don't have to be perfect."
-I used to want to be everyone's friend. I'm working on that. Not everyone merits the time and emotional effort it takes to have a deep friendship. Not everyone has to love me, or even like me. It's time the completeness with which God loves me is enough. Enough for me to be ok with who He made me, with or without anyone's approval.
-Witnessing the beginning of a life is... well, that's life! Everyone should attend a birth at least once in his or her lifetime.
So that's a start... Now if only emotional traffic jams came with cute traffic cops to sort them out. :)
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About Me
- Rebecca Jeffries-Hyman
- Woman on the Edge is about living life and taking every opportunity God gives. It's about refusing to stay in the shadows, running right past fear and getting out on the edge.
2 comments:
Wow, that's a lot to take in as a reader. I'm sure as the writer it's been overwhelming. I cannot imagine how heavy the burden feels at times, but I am thankful to God for His promise to carry it all for you. Keep giving up Becky. You're winning.
On the whole "being everyone's friend" thing? Right on, sistah. It's hard enough to have just two or three.
And on the witnessing the beginning of a life? Been there also and highly recommend it. It's miraculous in a completely different way when it's not our own baby.
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