Sunday, April 10, 2011

Happy Meals

So... people are banning McDonald's from using happy meal toys as a selling tool.

DOES ANYONE ELSE REALIZE THAT THIS IS COMMUNISM??? Has it occurred to anyone that the people who may not buy happy meals without toys will go HOME to eat processed, pre-packaged items anyway? Will the Fruit Loops box need to oust the colorful bird? As a parent who admittedly takes the fast food drive thru lane occasionally, it's not the toys that cause me to put on the brakes. It's the fatigue, the time crunch, or maybe I just like the taste!

I personally am insulted by the insinuation that I'm unable as a parent to make good enough choices for my children, or to handle their protests when I say "no," therefore happy meal toys must be outlawed FOR me. This is America, people. Last I checked, we were FREE to make and sell things, and FREE to choose what to buy and eat. As far as parenting, here's how it works:

Kid says: "Mommy, can we get a happy meal? PLLLEEEEAAASE???"

I've developed an INGENIOUS way to handle this situation. Mom needs only to follow my simple two-step process. I'll let you in on it FOR FREE!

Step 1: Keep foot on the gas pedal and drive past McDonalds.

Step 2: Say "Not today, honey!"

If child protests, repeat steps 1 and 2 and add grounding from possible future trips to McDonalds due to inappropriate begging.

It's NOT THAT HARD!! The people who spent so much cash and worked so hard to pass this ban could have purchased the above mentioned procedure from me at a reasonable cost, published in convenient pamphlet form that they could have dropped en masse over the town of concern. Yet they resort to communism instead. It's unfortunate.

Pardon the rant. Maybe it brought you a chuckle. Trust, dear reader, that whenever I please and deem appropriate, my children and I will HAPPILY enjoy a HAPPY MEAL. May those affected by the ban do the same at their discretion, and may freedom fry the french fries.

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