OK, so I couldn't let the Devil's Jukebox be the last word. Not that I've sorted it all out or anything. I have come to one small conclusion. I see my over-obsessing drive for perfection as just one more flaw and obstacle to overcome in my quest for perfection. Wanting too much to be perfect is something else to work on that keeps me from being perfect.
Is that sick or what?
Other than that, I've simply had to table this. Some tangled emotional messes just can't be untangled all at once. Sometimes like a jigsaw puzzle, you just have to come back to it later and you'll see it differently and maybe find a piece that fits.
So in the meantime...
My big boy is EIGHT! Can you believe it?? We had a marvelous time at Chuck E Cheese after all. Levi continues to be an absolute joy to be around. He's INEFFABLE in his charm, his wit, and his zest for life. I love that kid. One of my favorite glimpses into his heart as of late:
Levi (in the car on the way to Chic Fil A for lunch on Saturday): "What's Caleb gonna eat there?"
Me: "Well, I brought him some baby food."
Levi: "What if he's still hungry and wants something else?"
Me: "Well, I guess I could find a little something there he could eat. Maybe they'll have applesauce or something."
Levi: "Mom, when YOU eat does it make more milk?" (taps me on the arm to make sure I know he's talking about my body's milk making processes)
Me: "Ummm Yes, when I eat, my body uses the vitamins to make the milk for Caleb."
Levi: "So maybe you could go and get charged up on the chicken and then if he's still hungry you can feed him some milk."
And that settles that. I did indeed get charged up on the chicken by the way!
Can't stay down for long when God has blessed me in this way. If children are a reward from Him, then He has chosen to reward me indeed.
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2 comments:
I get charged up on Chic Fil A chicken too. Good stuff.
I love the logic of little boys. They are so much fun! A gift of God indeed.
I love that Levi. So much.
I think it's okay, sometimes, to table our emotions and keep to the task at hand. It's healthy and it's good. Just consider it another blessing that you are gifted enough to recognize your emotional needs instead of being someone who has no idea why they yell at their kids or get super-angry at other drivers.
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