So, do you ever suddenly catch yourself in a moment that you really hope nobody else noticed? That happens to me a lot, but today's moment was particularly amusing in a completely third-person sense. Let me give you a little background information first.
I have been working hard on my house. Really hard. Not just that, but we traveled for Thanksgiving and now have Christmas preparations underway. So, my schedule is something like: up really early, make kids' lunches, get kids dressed/hair fixed, receive daytime baby from his mommy, schlep everybody off to school, run one errand that I can do before baby's nap, put baby to bed, change into painting clothes, climb the ladder and paint for an hour, wake up baby, feed baby, run one more errand before baby's next nap, put baby to bed, change into painting clothes, climb up the ladder and paint for an hour, wake baby up to pick kids up from school....well, you get the idea. once I get my own kids to bed, I hoist myself up on the ladder one more time to paint for another hour or two and sometimes make it to bed before midnight. I forgot to mention that I must clean up at least some and change into real person clothes every time I come off the ladder. Anyway, I'm really exhausted. My whole body is just aching, and I am really sleep-deprived. It would take three pots of coffee to wake me up, but I just can't do that to myself. At some point this week, I just gave up on the cleaning-myself-up part. I'm just running around town in a paint-splattered ponytail and with paint-splattered skin. I even found a warpaint-like stripe on my face today as I glanced in the rearview mirror of my car.
Anyway, on to that moment. It came time to pick up my kids from school today. We have to wait in the car line, and all of you who are moms out there know what I mean. You have to get there at least twenty minutes before school gets out, or you have a really bad place in line, which means you're going to be idling in your car for 30 minutes or so. What is a mommy to do? I usually listen to the radio. I listen to all the bad stuff that I don't let my kids listen to yet. Today's choice was Led Zeppelin. I always stop channel-surfing for Led Zeppelin. This is a little-known fact. Then, once I stop, I turn up the radio really loud. I know it's pretty dirtball, but I kinda am a dirtball.
All of a sudden, I was lifted out of my bleary-eyed haze to see myself, covered in paint, wearing a dirty, paint-y ponytail, sitting in my really old Cadillac (all of the other moms drive expensive SUV's - this is also a game I play in car line called "count the SUV's" in which I count how many there are before the row is broken by a sedan. The sedan is usually a Mercedes. The SUVs are often Cadillacs, but my Cadillac is non-SUV and it's as old as my marriage. At least. And it's green.)....anyway sitting in my old car, while Robert Plant tells me how much love he has. I guess it's a whole lotta. I was singing along. It occurred to me at that moment that I really didn't fit in. Not even in car line.
Awesome!
DAILY BLISS: Being paint-y and not really caring what anybody else thinks.
<3 Christy
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3 comments:
Ah yes, I often feel like I don't fit in. Every time I go to seminary class, every day in some way I know within my depths that I don't fit. This, however, is a knowledge I (like you, C) enjoy. I savor the delicious idea that in me is something unique and different. I don't wanna settle for what everybody else is doing. I know I don't fit in, but know what? I don't WANNA squeeze into a cookie cutter someone else picked out. I think I'd like to be me, thanks! The me that only I can be. Thanks, C for being out there on the fringes with me. We have an awesome time out here, yes?
Becky
You hit the nail on the head! I've spent my entire life not fitting in. I still don't. I don't even fit in with the image that most people have of me. That's okay with me. I'm absolutely miserable when I'm busy trying to scrunch my limbs in someone else's box. I think I'm finally getting used to the blank stares and rolling eyes...I think. And oddly enough, it's nice to know I'm not alone.
I guess it takes one to know one (wink)!
<3 Christy
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